Oh confusion...just means I'm ready to learn right?

    Relationships are great areas for learning, and I've learned a lot about myself over the past month and a half. The time's been filled with a lot of new experiences, new emotions, and new situations. It's been a period of learning, growth, and new realizations. I think I have reached a point where, for the first time in my life, I need to make a decision for myself and no one else. I've never done this before because I've always kind of lived off of the expectations of my parents and family, which was not bad then. I wanted to do what they wanted me to do because I knew they wanted what was best for me in their hearts.
                             Beyond my parents, I always tried to do what God wanted me to do. I don't think I really understood the concept though. What I wanted was for God to tell me what to do, and then I knew I would do it. The problem with that though, is that I now think that part of this life is learning to make our own decisions that are in accordance with God's will, and not do things because God gives us specific directions in everything we need to do. I think that God has given each of us the tools we need to make decisions (He gave us agency as well as the Light of Christ). In addition to that, He has given me the Gift of the Holy Ghost to have with me at all times if I am righteous. Thus He has given me everything I need to make my own decisions.
                This is a new concept for me, I am not sure if I have ever asked myself what I want. So, what do I want? I'm not entirely sure. How can I make a decision if I don't know what I want? I mean, I could make a good decision based off of what I know my parents, God, or other people want. But what is the best decision? I guess that's what I want; to make the best decision I can, and in order to do so I need to know what I truly desire.

I need to find out where my heart is.

                                                                           How? 

I honestly do not know, but I am going to find out...somehow.

I love this journey and everything in it. So much. Life is filled with so many wonderful experiences and learning opportunities. Some may be hard, some may hurt, some may tear me apart, but God changes me in each situation so I come out of it stronger. He knows the perfect balance I need so that the joyous experiences which promote little learning always balance out the difficult experiences of much growth so that I can go on in life with a hope for the future.